#5

It's raining and I can't tell whether or not the sound is coming from the outside world or my earbuds (having fallen asleep to a meditation download). I'm relaxed but don't know what day it is, what time it is or where I have to be. I move slowly. The rain tells me so.

Yesterday, I gave myself a real vacation. I strolled through Central Park and took pictures. I took a Bikram class. I read. I walked. I walked everywhere. I caught up with old friends and tried to meet new ones ;). Unlike today, the weather was accommodating.

Underneath yesterday's feeling of calm, I suspected something was wrong with my father. As he ages, everything becomes potentially more serious and I've paid close attention to every conversation we've had of late. He's never talked about needing a cane. This is definitely new. I don't like that his balance is off or that he refuses to have some in-home care. It's frustrating. My father was more than an able-bodied man in his day, so I know that these last few years of declining health have taken a toll on him mentally as well as physically. We will be speaking later and I am certain to get more updates.

It's 10am. I realize I slept 9.5 hours. This is rare and the fact that I slept so soundly is also rare. Acceptance.

Not having to rush out the door, I go through my emails and see what's on the agenda. Nothing strikes me as unusual. I can count on several emails from my boss and a few from comedians looking for stage time. Some OKCupid's thrown in the mix... all are duds.

I make a health shake. I turn on some music. The Lion Sleeps Tonight is playing. I find it comforting. I remember hearing it when I was little girl. I'm a Leo and, while I don't really believe in all that zodiac and astrological mumbo-jumbo, there are certain things about Leo's that are absolutely true--we are generous, we are prideful, we are loyal and we love to be love and be loved. I respond to all things lion.  

Well, I certainly did sleep well in the jungle last night but now it's time to pounce or roar or something. Too bad I just can't lie under a tree in the shade but duty calls.