#9

I'm laying in bed with no rush to get out of it. Being busy and being productive are two different things and there are times I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 back with a lot of side-stepping in between. 

Although its 10am, my bedroom Is still dark and right now the only light there is, comes through from a gated window. I look up at Botticelli's Venus; a poster in an elaborate frame that I purchased in Titusville Florida many years back. It's an image that has been over-saturated in its uses through the years and what I once loved, I've  now outgrown. So, Venus languishes lonely on cracked wall in my bedroom. A metaphor? Perhaps. I don't know. 

My thoughts turn to James Franco. I mean, why wouldn't they?

I'll just say this, there was an occurrence, a  "blip" of sorts as to why this happened but I'm not going to explain it because I'm not even sure I  believe it myself.
Nevertheless, James Franco has been in my consciousness ever since.

As you may know, I am a comic and an actress that also manages several comedy clubs. Because of my background, I am naturally drawn to creative types--actors, other comics, writers, artists, musicians, poets, dancers etc. and probably more so now than ever because of just how terrifying the state of the world seems to be.

For me, anything that can take my mind off the harsh realities of what we're doing to this planet, to each other, to ourselves (even temporarily) can be a moment of meditation. I've had a lot on my mind lately regarding my father's health, finances, etc. So, a James Franco detour came at a good time. After all, he is talented, creative and good-looking. I could get lost in that for a minute.

But that minute turned into a full week of consumption of all things James Franco. What's odd is that I never thought about this person prior to the aforementioned "blip" and now I couldn't stop. 

With the help of the internet and Instagram, I was overwhelmed with the popularity of James Franco. I discovered his achievements and the diversity of those achievements and I was truly struck by them.

Several months ago, I listened to Nick Cave for the first time and I've become hooked on his music ever since.  I've listened to everything of his I could get access to including interviews. I went to a screening of a documentary about him and have plans to see him in July with The Bad Seeds in Prospect Park. I started this blog as a practice because I found Cave's own inexhaustible drive to write so inspiring.

This James Franco "blip" triggered a similar reaction--a further need to delve into lyrics, words, thoughts, feelings, art. It gave me even more incentive to explore and push the boundaries and limitations of who I am, who I think I am and what I do.. I believe that is the mission of all true artists (and if we can make you laugh that's an added bonus).

But I haven't gotten out of bed yet.

When I finally do rouse myself from the James Franco coma I put myself in, I consider the day ahead. 

I notice that the pain in my knee (from over locking it in bikram yoga class) has diminished. I assess myself and soon realize that it's my day off and I have to get ready for a lunch date I've arranged with someone from an internet dating site. I have a real personal life I'm trying to attend to. A need to find a companion. I leave to meet my date. He arrives wearing a white T-shirt, gym pants and sneakers and he is immediately disgruntled because I've accidentally sat down a restaurant that we agreed to meet at but I wasn't supposed go into. He deems that the weather is nice enough, so he relents and says we can stay seated outside. After some awkward exchanges and efforts (on his part) to control, he tells me he's Italian from the waste down. It's a sales pitch. I see where this is leading and ask for my share of the check and leave.

Turns out, this date was more of a lesson in what I don't want versus what I do. Gone are the days where I try to tough things out. He has one thing on his mind and it's not about getting to know me because he thinks he already does.

(I want you to feed my soul. Can you do that?)

So, I stroll and turn my head to the sun and decide that I could use an ice coffee. I wasn't awake for that date but I was definitely awake enough to know there wouldn't be another one.

I end up at Le Pain Quotidien. Classical music is playing. In front of me is a New York Times with the Weekend Arts section splayed out. On the main page is an article about the upcoming  Spider-Man movie. Here we go. James Franco was in a Spider-Man movie. Coincidence? I start to drift.

Whatever the reason or whether the "blip" led me, I'm going to see James Franco in Of Mice And Men on Broadway. Grateful that I can lose myself in the theatre. 

I'll get the chance to suspend my disbelief and maybe even my belief a little longer. ;)