Then it hits me. I'm just standing in my kitchen staring at my broken cellphone charger.
It's superficial and I'm disgusted with myself. Why aren't my thoughts loftier like-- how can I help people? What can I do? Why am I not thanking God for my very existence? I'm annoyed that I can't really control the mutterings of my morning head. These thoughts have been programmed into my DNA--from my childhood or socio-economic background or blah blah what have you. Whatever. I'm in the throws of this for at least 30 minutes and that's 30 minutes too long.
Well, I need the damn cellphone charger replaced so I make that my first priority. Sadly, I'm chained to it plus I was supposed to call my father at 11am and it's now 11:41am. He's waiting.
Just getting out of the house on another beautiful day improves my mood. Spending $40 on a the new charger does not. Getting a $5 dollar discount off said charger does.Thus, begins my series of checks and balances that will last all day.
I won't have to be at work until 7pm and now it's a tossup between whether or not I will take a yoga class or go sit in the sun. I opt for the sun, having seen so little of it all winter long.
It's nearly noon & I decide that it would be best that I go hit a meeting first. Some of you know the kind of meeting I mean--one that gets your mind right. I know of one that starts in a half hr. I can also charge my phone there. I recognize the speaker and I get a healthy dose of the fundamentals of gratitude and acceptance and I am sufficiently readjusted.
We only have today and we can choose how we live...today. Cliché but true.
From there, I walk to the East River and call my father with my newly recharged cellphone. It's a good conversation and that's probably because neither of us had it when we first woke up. I think about how fortunate that he's still with me. The sun warms my face. There is feeling of peace but it is momentarily interrupted with txts from work. I might have to go in early. Nope. I don't.
So, I go back to the sun and all is right...in this moment.
It's superficial and I'm disgusted with myself. Why aren't my thoughts loftier like-- how can I help people? What can I do? Why am I not thanking God for my very existence? I'm annoyed that I can't really control the mutterings of my morning head. These thoughts have been programmed into my DNA--from my childhood or socio-economic background or blah blah what have you. Whatever. I'm in the throws of this for at least 30 minutes and that's 30 minutes too long.
Well, I need the damn cellphone charger replaced so I make that my first priority. Sadly, I'm chained to it plus I was supposed to call my father at 11am and it's now 11:41am. He's waiting.
Just getting out of the house on another beautiful day improves my mood. Spending $40 on a the new charger does not. Getting a $5 dollar discount off said charger does.Thus, begins my series of checks and balances that will last all day.
I won't have to be at work until 7pm and now it's a tossup between whether or not I will take a yoga class or go sit in the sun. I opt for the sun, having seen so little of it all winter long.
It's nearly noon & I decide that it would be best that I go hit a meeting first. Some of you know the kind of meeting I mean--one that gets your mind right. I know of one that starts in a half hr. I can also charge my phone there. I recognize the speaker and I get a healthy dose of the fundamentals of gratitude and acceptance and I am sufficiently readjusted.
We only have today and we can choose how we live...today. Cliché but true.
From there, I walk to the East River and call my father with my newly recharged cellphone. It's a good conversation and that's probably because neither of us had it when we first woke up. I think about how fortunate that he's still with me. The sun warms my face. There is feeling of peace but it is momentarily interrupted with txts from work. I might have to go in early. Nope. I don't.
So, I go back to the sun and all is right...in this moment.
I have a job. I can't clean the carpet now but I will eventually. I can buy a can of coffee. I can wipe away the toothpaste from the bathroom sink. I can even dust. I'm perfectly fine alone.
It's perspective and it fluctuates.
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